i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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