You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
