Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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