you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
