There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
