Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
