is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
