is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
