I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
