I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
