their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
