Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
