wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
my liver is dry heaving
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