I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
