I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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