I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
