so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
