i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
