Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
