I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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