due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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