If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
