Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
