I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
