I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
