Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
