I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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