Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
