Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
