Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
