so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
