but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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