Dual....:-)
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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