He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
