i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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