she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Two words: nipple clamps
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