I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
