When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this boner is exhausting
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
