I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
