was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
