school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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