hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
