I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
