return my video game
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
