Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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