I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
