Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
