addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
