This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
