He felt like a one man threesome
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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