Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
