Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
