so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
